Yosh.

- Because I'm lonely-

So yeah. 
this semester is a hectic one for me! 
And when U start working with many people and spend time (almost all your time) then U'll see the real side of people U never see before. 

then another one.
they are so lucky. so much luck that things went their way. and some just were destined for an easy life. 
but. 
when u have one thing. U just want more of that thing.
i really am hoping that they would become more considerate about things.
especially don't make your life easier by making things very easy for yourself but U make others does the hard job for U. and not always play the safe sides cos well. life is always a danger to one self.

pss : i don't even know what i'm typing! :*(

♥ Day 4 of 366

On the fourth day of 2012. 


CVT paper : NOT To be conceited or snobby, just want to say I FEEL GOOD! :) Hope i really did well and no mistakes done. -Amin-


Dream and more dreammmmm! :) 

You know just how Fu much i love dreams don't you? And nooooo. Don't ever think of that!!~ My brain is as pure as my heart and soul! The ♥ dream is totally innocent. 
Well nothing is when it involves my super smexing gorgeous DongBangShinKi!! :DD And this time, there are 5 of them.. All in my dream. Woohoooot!!~~ And we are like acting in a new version of Totally Spies. We all (DBSK and I) we are spies in the story! XD Yeah, with magic ball and time travel and amazing spy actions... And best thing is I talked to them. XDDD And hold Yunho's hand!! OMG OMG I'm gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Also i had a good 2 hours sleep. And i can't stop talking. And i just talked to a wonderful person. and i'm happy. :)) A very nice day of 2012. YESHHH!!

Still. 5 more papers after this. I still have to study. Bless me with all this books and hardwork, hopefully everything turns good ! :) 

V

Love is NOT about finding someone PERFECT for you.

But It's about finding someone who completes the IMPERFECTIONS in you! :) 

Previously I think I could live just like who I am. Cos honestly i have this hugeeee group of people called friends so I don't really bother and i don't really care about family. 

But TRUTH is, and I am glad i had the chance to realise that family is really the most important element in one's life. 

I actually hated to spend time with family (including grandmas, aunts and uncles) cos all they talk about is business and academics! Sorry but those two are subjects i hated the most. and i hated it. My young self rebelling!! XDDD but soon after finished high school. and after i've been sent away from family, living 'alone', just imagine how much I regret not really appreciating my chances of being with family, of having them and having them scold/lecture/talk to me. 

We're getting busier every single day every single moment. and holiday is very short. 

and i wish we could be given a chance to return back to the day where we not need think about money, work, study, business. 

but that's not true. At least now, even a rich 5 minutes of talking to any one of yr family members makes ur shoulder lighter. makes some, if not all the stress lifted up from yr brain and makes yr day brighter. Just the thought of having 2-3 days break and getting to spend them with yr precious family itself give that warm and incredibly awesome feelings! :) 

Anyways. Happy Christmas. Happy HOLIDAYS! :) 

And lets spend the last days of Dec 2011 with happiness, joy and full of spirit. <3 

psss : 
nope i'm not holiday-ing. I have study break to fill in with extra study.
and ish meeting jeannie soon!! ^_^ Awwe i'm ecstatic! =) 

R E A L

in life..
as in the R E A L life..




Accept the fact that U can't really get everything U wanted. 

We needed and wanted lots of things but do bear in mind that it's not all can be ours. What's most important to U? that U have put on your all, give the best out of you and getting or not getting it doesn't matter. the satisfaction and knowing that you've strive hard and good enough is what's needed. Or the outcome of it? It's not wrong to choose any but i sometimes pity those who do all the terrible stuff just to get whatever they wanted. But in the end, even if U really get it, can U look back and say that U are proud of yourself, truly proud of what U have done and proudly tells those to others? and even when U didn't get to reach the outcome, it doesn't mean U are a failure. there are lots of things U actually gained and learned from it, and that's what most important.

Even then, it is DEFINITELY NOT RIGHT to give Up on anything that U have. 

Not even a single thing. Giving UP is simply a NO! U should know where to stop, when U need to say U had enough and why U leave it be. But Giving UP is NOT that. It's like letting go of hope, of something that U once had been very proud of. We all have our own share of misery, but giving UP is certainly not what a human should do. and that defines the real failure. 

psss : Congrats to my Sister for her exam result! Yeah. I'm proud of you, dongsangieee! XD

Just Me! :)

So i just had this in mind. When i kind of reminiscing my past. My memories. All the times of the past i could recalled of. I must say I am proud of most of the things happening in my life. Of how i changed over time. How myself improving and constantly changing, all i owed to those who directly and indirectly came across my path, being one of the person who changes every bit of my life. Making it happier, sadder?, more interesting than it would've been if just living this life alone. No matter how close or further apart we were, no matter how much involvement U have in my life since I were born. I must say, I'm GLAD of meeting every single one of you. 

The sweetest or most bitter memories. Or whatever person U were once being labelled as by the Mighty Me, I, as a bipolar person myself, is sincerely thanking U guys even if U are unaware of it yourself. 


XD Haha. LOL that was a mess. But ne. Feeling like writing tis!! :))

Emo Time! :)

I don't know what make me actually think of this.
But somehow. In life. I mean in real life. *not academic and work and stuff*
I'm referring to the life we gonna live. sentimentally, emotionally. and all about family, friends, love. 


So, yeah. in life. 
It's not Perfection i'm looking for. 
Not the awesome, perfect person and story as HUMAN *me included* think they ought and suppose to have. 
I think the best thing. Thing i actually wanted the most to happen is to have and be someone needed by the other. to be the warmth and the light to shine and warmed the life of the other. and to complete the piece that is perfecting the imperfection of the other.


:) Awee romance and the random senti-moment! XD

Life is MUCH More Beautiful When U Start Believing! :)

-quoted from A Friend of Mine! :) -

I love that phrase sooooooooooo very much! :) I love it so much. 

It's very beautiful and is indeed very meaningful to many things in life, Mine and Yours on whoever choosing to believe. 

So yes. Believing is one thing. Believing is an essential step to take before U can hold and keep a faith. Faith is faith. Believing/Trusting is main component of faith. Faith is the core, the bigger and most essential things. U need to have a faith on someone /something /some power and some anything. When U believe, then only U may see it. It's hard to say it and to explain it. LOL i'm random and i came out with all this phrases and things randomly that leads to creation of such phrases .. But yeah. That's what i'm feeling.

And lately. Hm. Altho it's non-essential and firstly, i would like to warn U people to not follow what I am doing. But, yeah. I'm talking about the AKTF thing! :DD 

*note to those understanding it* 

Who didn't, then it's ok! :) 

Cos Cassiopeia is a star of the southern sky that always will be there to guide those who were lost and whom seeking for directions to where they belongs. <3

- and a promise is a promise and no matter what the outcome is, and whatever might happen in the future, I've decided and chose to Believe and to continue keeping the Faith! - ♥

LOL I feel like Shakespeare!! :DDD

more rant! :D

One thing i'm always soo pissed off with is for the award ceremony voting. How high the standard of the award I wonder. So waeee, waee.. When U make an award of Best Male Singer. What does BEST means? Best in performing his song, done his job awesomely and superbly or really is best in winning the hearts of fans? 

If it is up to me, I will not waste that much of time in voting cos really. If U kind of able to predict what the end will be, then why waste your time. Sometimes I want to tell and make them see sense. Haloooo. Being famous doesn't mean they are good or really the best in the category owkee? Fame is one thing. But stop acting so stupidly and being so ignorant. Just because You Are A big Fan, It doesn't mean U are obliged to vote and do all that stuff for him! That is why. It's a matter of principles and correct brain processing skills. :)

Please forget that I ever said this! :DD

A Mere Thought! :)

it was a great game last night : Malaysia vs Bahrain. It's a good one actually. Although Malaysia lost 3-2 to Bahrain. Congrats to this boy ::: Nazmi and other team members of Harimau Muda! U guys played well.

Tapi, one thing that I absolutely can't accept is .. When they win, even 1-0, OhMY pujinya melambung-lambung. Even that one time, cos Malaysia won, we get a holiday the next day. *But we need to work and study extra time the next week* Now, they lose even with a good match, a good game like that, people criticise. I know its a norm of a thing. But seriously, i feel as if they are being unfair towards the player. It's not a normal, tolerated critics, mind you. It's like saying "WTH Malaysia. U lose everything and U r such a F****** something within 6 minutes"

DAMN Human. What are U!! 6? Memang la 6 minutes is long. But hallo.. Why not talk about the 80+ minutes earlier. Why the 6 minutes became the main factor of measurement!! That's just plain annoying and brainless when U so happened to be the same person, who had when Malaysia won against Indonesia a few days ago, praising them all high as if Harimau Malaya is the king!

My aim of saying this is so that whenever u criticise or praising someone, do it moderately. Because we people all have brains mah? and brains means U have knowledge, and as normal person, ur cognitive function must be similar to one another. Intelligence must be differ but conceptual thinking is technically the same for all normal matters. so STOP doing this excessive praising and thoughtless criticism cos honestly constructive comments are made from a fair judgement, a creditable information and a good statistical measure. 

What a total intellectual Defence!!! :DD

Let ME Talk! =)

Perfection is what every human being is wishing and striving for. Everybody wants to be perfect. to become the perfect child, perfect student, perfect mother, etc. But sometimes being perfect, too perfect, in everything is not really a good thing. 

For example, in love, U are looking for a perfect lover. Someone who will treat U nicely, treasure U highly like a princess. Someone who will give everything and anything just to make U happy. Someone who will hold onto U and pour all his love to you.. Someone who is everything every living girls (and probably boys) are wanting. the someone, a perfect prince that makes U living a life of a fairy tale. LOL if HAPPY is the only feeling i would feel, I'd rather not to. It's not thrilling and there's no fun on it! :D

But life, every single aspect of life (none is excepted) has its own equilibrium state. equilibrium is a state where the 2 variables at each side of the reaction is in balance. be it the concentration or rate of reaction. None should exceed the other. so in case of the perfect lover (or perfect whomever), things goes on the same. We can never be too perfect. Define perfect in your own. The perfections U were seeing is not perfection cos if u look into it very carefully and inspect them wisely, U then will know the imperfection masked from normal eyes. 

Reality hurts. I know! But Hurt is spelt the same as Love. So what's the big deal. it's only a four-letter word. I know i might sound heartless, emotionless and whatever U may say. But don't ever deny the fact! You need to continue living just no matter how hard it is. Life isn't only about rainbows and butterflies. they might look beautiful, but there's more than just beautiful. and life isn't only about loving somebody. life is about doing everything and feeling and experiencing everything as much as U can.

We needed LOVE in our life. So why discriminating HURT. they are both they same. We needed both cos life is constantly changing, we are seeing different things in life. These two are what shapes us to be who we are in the future. HURT has its own role, so thus love. Therefore, relax and just accept the fact that if today U were hurt, nature will always play its role to return U back to the state U wanted the most --> LOVE (where happiness and all the positive emotions is). 

♥ from me! and brainy me! :D

Think

lesson of the day :

U can never get everything U wanted. Especially NOT at the same time. 

U can hope for many things and want for many. But at the end, U can have only some of it! So. Hope for more that so in the end, U may earn, even not all, but much more than needed.

So...

the word BEST means 


1. of the highest quality, excellence, or standing: the best work;the best students.
2. most advantageous, suitable, or desirable: the best way.
3. largest; most: the best part of a day.


--> See BEST means of the Highest Quality, Excellence and Outstanding.


sometimes I wonder. Do U vote for someone just because U like him, U adore him or U know he can? because obviously, the hell with the word BEST if it were given only because of some fans-ying or crazily in love thing? geez. Whatever. Just.. if u really do that, stop criticizing whatever other people is doing or don't accuse me of not being loyal or anything cos.. u are obviously the densest! 

Have U ever had enough?

Just because U've had enough, it doesn't mean U wanted too much. 


Life is like this doesn't it? 
U will never know U have that much till when U lose it,
U never know U have done so much till U feel tired and exhausted and U cried ur heart out for it.
And U never know the meaning of appreciating and treasuring things if U never lose it or U have had it all your life.


I don't know what I'm trying to say. but often people said that "U have enough of this so U should stop".
But Time doesn't stop, does it? It keeps on ticking and moving and nobody can stop it. And how on Earth U know whether U have enough or someone had more than enough?
Cos it never will be enough of something, to us.. human, will it? Just like how we can't stop breathing and how do we say that we have enough air to breathe each time? 
      It's very difficult isn't it? Just like how difficult it is to think and to write down whatever U think on a piece of paper and to ensure that each of your messages will be perfectly understood by your readers. 

And I believe that as long as we live, we can never get enough of something. Cos that's how and why GOD Created us. 

He creates us to search and find answers, to look for questions and to never stop finding. 

Finding WHAT? that is for U to find out! :) 

WOW, i am NOW a PHILOSOPHER!!! :DD

Chance! ^_^

Life is always like this. When chance comes to you : you either GRAB it or LOSE it. There, if U are lucky, will be a second chance.
     But it will never be the same as the first time it comes to you. and 2nd chance is a bliss. Because not many people are lucky to get it. 
So, be more ALIVE. 
GRAB chances as it come across you and do your best in whatever U have decided to do. Because if U do not decide fast enough, it 
will soon be taken away from you. 


When people says good things to you, about you. it flatters you, makes U proud doesn't it.?
But the best thing one ever said to me is that they have faith in you.
Best of the best is when it comes from your parents! :) 


-i'm just so HAPPY!- <3 

just live

Because despite all the weaknesses. The imperfections. The failures. You just have to trust yourself and will yourself to keep going. Cos that is what life is all about. To keep living. 

No matter how imperfect U think of yourself. No matter how much failures or mistakes done, what is most needed by a person is the strength to keep going! =) 

Just Can't Stop! :)

Whenever there's a beginning, 

there surely be an end coming to it. 

Its a something that has been fated and destined to naturally occur that way. 

Yeah, i understand all that. And i know human is complex and emotions is ... what can i say, other than Water, Fire, Air and Earth, emotions is the other essential elements of life. Cos whatever we are feeling is an emotion rite? even if we feel nothing, that is also an emotion : of not knowing and empty. 


Anyways. I feel sooo diverted from the real path. Cos i dun intend on writing a long crap talk. but whatever. Its just me. And i'm widely known for all my theories and philosophies. Hehe! :D 
Actually i just want to ramble on this one thing. But uh. Maybe due to high shear stress physiologically and too much external pressure, i have so many things to say. But dunno which one to write. so yeah..


So, a friend of mine kind of.. Hm she has just recently broken up with his ex-boyfiee.. Poor her, I know. 
But, forever is long and eternal is an impossibility no matter how long forever is! *OhMiGosh, did I just came out with an awesome phraseeeeeeeeee???*
I'm not complaining or like criticising her for being so distressed and emo-ing. I understand her right and needs and why she felt that way. Anyways, all that im saying is a general statement and has no kind of relationship with either the living or dead. :) 


So, what I think is this. I mean. From the very start, from the beginning of life, we've known that nothing is going to last forever rite? like. In a way, along the way, after some time, its going to its end, rite? we know that perfectly well, don't we? Love, business, friendship, even Earth itself. Things is going to end. 
Like exam season. U feel the stress now. The burden. And then when it comes, U go for it, U seat for it and U strive for it. And no matter how well U perform, U have sat for it. So, yes it has ended for the time being. but after sometime it come again. things like this recycle. So, u nd to prepare urself for the next exam season. 


What im actually trying to say was... Whenever one thing ends for U... Do Not lose hope. Or think so negatively and pitifully of yourself cos U know perfectly well who U are. And darn, even Hitler deserved to receive all kinds of respects and love, after all the cruelty, so do U! 
I kind of pissed when U curse yourself and feel urself so useless and want to waste your time weeping and mourning over some useless, unworthy thing. I mean, time don't stop moving, not even for a single person. u have a longggggggggggggggg journey awaits and lots of things to do. So why stop yourself in the middle of the way. Just like. I know memories is unforgettable. Unless you are having amnesia or some brain degenerations, but still.. be an optimist. one thing goes, U can have another 10 coming to you. Just, its a matter on how u're seeing things and how u bring yourself to it. there are lots more people around U and much more things worth for U to work for that something that has been ur past. 


So, the conclusion is ::: 

Chill! 

Cos U can always start a new beginning! whenever u wants it. =) 

I know this is so mixed up. Not pointless, I certainly know. just! Im a science student. So how do U expect my analytical brain will write things. Especially about all these emotions. So, this is another manuscript written by a science person... and have fun in decoding/deciphering this precious piece! xD

psss : Guess you're just lucky to be reading this, rite!? :) 

Another...

When one person do some good things, I wonder why people tend to go the other way round, searching for his wrongdoings and weakness. Why can't they just see beyond his contributions. I know we need to consider all pros and cons, background and analyse situation as a whole before coming up with conclusion. But does this concept also applied to human? 


Like seriously. tch!


What I meant to say is that. Do we really need to do that? I can say that I don't do that. 
like. When a friend tells U that Miss A donated RM100 for this *** activity. Then U reply with "really? Do U know that she gt the money from *****?". 


I seriously don't do that of course, but I happen to meet many people who did this.
Like, when U're talking about politicians. Yeah, the irony. Politicians normally get that. But, politicians and celebrities, its like a common thing la. 


But what would U feel when those words were said and aimed to U? 
It hurts like bitch rite? yeah, bitch always got it right! 
And tch. Really hates those people. 

Word

Word is a strong tool.
One word have the power to change the whole world and to change someone to a totally new person.
Believe that? Yeah. Its true.
Especially when the person saying those words is a person who held great power and trusted by many person.

So... Careful with words U choose.
Cos I totally have a real chaotic and stressful weak just because of some clever person statement.

TQ.

Unknown

Sometimes, I wish I had a power to make people see light and do right things.


Some people were given a chance and they are gifted and totally have what it needs to do that thing right. With such opportunities, one would think that they should have fight till death for it, shouldn't they? Because chance is a one in a lifetime thing. But NO! that's not what happened. They avoided it, stay away from it for their own comfort. I mean like, if i were at their place, I would have just grab it cos who knows when will it be offered to you again, rite? And i feel like jumping off of the 10th floor of a building when i hear their answers. Cos their answers is that : "I don't want to do things more than what i was expected to do".


Mleh. What we were expected to do is just very hugeeeeeeeee and subjective and how do U list it all. People expecting U to do things and the expectations has no boundaries. Meaning, U don't even exactly know what actually people wanted of U. What U mentioned is actually what U expected of yourself doing. 


And sometimes i wonder. Where exactly has all the logical and reasoning goes to? With all this knowledges and skills and thinking and all the super awesome brain that U have. Because U were expected to do more than U think U were expected to do. And just do things that U see don't make U any better cos when U started to actually live on YOUR OWN, U will have to deal with a greater number of unimaginable things. And thats when chances is what U expected to come, but it will be the hardest thing to get. 


WOW! I'm amazed with my own thoughts! :)